Being a "real nurse" again

Last week was a difficult week for a lot of people. While the government was turning over a new president and new people came to power, I was working the night shift in an intensive care unit. I think I mentioned before that I decided to leave my cushy office job and go back to being a "real nurse" (as termed by many people - I was still a real nurse in my opinion). 

I can honestly say that over the past 4-ish years, I forgot what it was like to be a "real nurse". I mean, I was still a "real nurse". I was educating staff and occasionally helping out on the floor. I picked up weekend hours. But I forgot what being on your feet for 12 hours felt like. 

I forgot that I will I come home and my feet and my back will hurt. Because I am constantly going between rooms to titrate drips, check vital signs, perform assessments, and make sure that someone's loved one is safe for the 12 hours that I am on shift. 

I forgot what it felt like to not be able to go drink, eat and pee whenever I need to. 

I forgot what it felt like to have a knot in my throat because I am holding back tears because I know, that despite my best efforts and the best efforts of the entire medical staff, I won't be able to save this patient. And I can't let the family see that I know their loved ones fate because they don't know or realize it yet.

I forgot what it feels like when a family thanks you for doing everything you could do to help. And what it feels like when you do actually help someone and they get better.

I forgot that after a 12-hour shift, when I close my eyes, I will hear the beeps of call lights, telemetry monitors, IV pumps, and ventilators until I eventually fall asleep.

I forgot how much I love taking care of people. I am happy to be a real nurse again.

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Random thoughts

So, I was catching up with some TV shows on Hulu. One of them being The Bachelor. Now, I used to watch this show religiously. Then I stopped because it was stupid. Then I watched Bachelor in Paradise and I really liked Nick, the new Bachelor. Soooo, I decided to tune in. 

What. in. the. F. I now remember HATING the first episode. The girls act like assholes. I am sorry, I realize that they need to make an impression right away, but act normal. Don't be slutty. One girl dressed in a shark costume (though claimed the entire time she was dolphin and continuously made "dolphin" noises). Another girl made some dumb joke, "What do girls with panties on say? I wouldn't know". Uhm, gross. And slutty. One girl came in on a camel and said "I hear you like to hump." And another gave him a beard massage. 

Another girl gave him a book with an uncooked hotdog in it and said "You're a weiner in my book". As if that wasn't bad enough, she asked him to "Lady and the Tramp" that hotdog. If I was him, I would be like "Okay, thank you for being unique but please get back in the limo, cause I've seen enough."

All of these interactions just feel awkward. Like, I felt uncomfortable just watching. Did I stop watching though? Of course not, and I then I proceeded to watch the second episode. 

After this I got on Facebook and had 35 notifications...because I'm in 124903754348074 LuLaRoe groups. And I need to probably not to be because I want to buy everything. I can't help but go through the albums. And before you know it, I have typed sold 10 times and I have invoices before I can change my mind. #Addicted

Okay, enough random for today.

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January Goals & Wish-list

One post that I loved doing before was my monthly goals and wish-list. I would make a couple of goals and at the end of the month if I achieved those goals, I would reward myself with something from my wish-list. 

Life is short...and stressful. Why not treat yourself once in awhile? I recently went back to working night shift and it has messed up my daily schedule. I went from having a relatively stable schedule (Monday-Friday, weekends off) to a schedule that is different all the time. The only good thing is that I am back on 12-hour shifts, which means more days off. I'm in the middle of a 6-day stretch off...aaaah, it's wonderful. However, I need to get back on schedule with housework and going to the gym. 

My January goals are:

1. Go to the gym! Just go. More than once, but try to get into a routine again. When I worked nightshift before, I worked out pretty regularly. This is only my second week on my new shift, but it's time to get adjusted to a new schedule. No excuses.

2. Get rid of some clutter. By the end of the month, I want to throw out, give away or donate at least 10 items. 

Okay, now here's my wish-list...

Ooooh, look at all these goodies!!

Three. Jessica Simpson purse    

Here's hoping I achieve those goals...
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