27.4.13

Day #283: Acceptance.

I struggle with many things. Mostly, saving money and with my weight. My weight has fluctuated between 180-280 pounds since high school. I will gain weight, lose weight, gain, lose, gain, lose. Most recently, I have been gaining. In 2008, I weight my highest weight of 270lbs. I dropped 60 lbs, weighing 210 and going from a size 22 down to a size 16/18. Now, only 5 years later I am back up to 282 and a size 22/24.

2008

2008


I want to be healthy. I would love to lose weight. But I struggle with self acceptance. Do I accept that I am plus-size woman and just be happy? Or do I try to lose weight? Can you accept your weight AND try to diet and exercise? I read so many blogs that preach "fat acceptance" and put down people who blog about diet and exercise. Is it really so wrong to love yourself and accept your present weight and size, but still attempt to eat healthy and work-out?

2012


This is where I struggle. I can't seem to find my "happy" place so to speak. I find myself trying to sell my clothes, because I can't fit in them anymore. And I have been buying new clothes, but it upsets me that I have to buy a 2X instead of a 1X. 

Acceptance. Where can I find it?
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6 comments:

  1. Yes, we live in a fat phobic culture and acceptance of people of all sizes is definitely needed. I experience size discrimination all the time, and from even people in my family, not just strangers. However, if you're unhappy with yourself, then it's perfectly acceptable to want and to make an effort to change yourself. Just my two cents :-)

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  2. You should always accept yourself. You are an amazing woman. My opinion is that yes you should always try and eat healthy. You want to be around for a long time. Accept yourself for who you are not what you look like, what color your hair is, the size of your shoes.....it doesn't matter. We all have things we want to change.

    If you are eating healthy, the rest will fall into place. I love you!

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  3. Don't think of it as dieting... you have to think of it as a lifestyle change!

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  4. You have to figure out how to be ok with yourself no matter your weight. That is a hard thing. I think if you're eating healthy and getting some exercise in then that's an awesome thing and you should forget about the scale which I know is much easier said than done. Even at my thinnest (129lbs) I saw myself as a fat girl. And, now? I'm holding steady at 155lbs but I'm more ok with my body now because I am eating whole, healthy foods and I can lift the ish out of some weight. I am learning to love my curves, my body and all of it's faults and the good things, too! I think, we, as women almost always struggle whether we're a size 2 or a size 22. It's sad that we define ourselves by the number on that scale and I hope that one day, that number won't matter to any of us.

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  5. It is SO SO hard! I feel the exact same way. I want to love the body Im in.. but I want to be thinner and healthier too. Where do the two meet??

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  6. I have to agree with your Mother on this one. As far as the people who shame those who promote exercise and diet, why are they shaming someone who is promoting HEALTH? That makes no sense. I am all for confidence and self acceptance but if you are so self accepting than it shouldnt bother you what other people deem acceptable and in this case, attractive.


    But, like Lisa said, if you do those things the rest WILL fall into place. I too have dealt with weight fluctuations my whole life, if your Mom saw me now she probably wouldnt recognize me compared to what I was weighing when I was working for her. Pop isnt in my diet and it isnt even in my house, the same goes for chips and snack cakes. (minus unsalted tortilla chips and salsa...but even then I dont overindulge) If I want something sweet then I have something with peanut butter or I use the handy dandy pinterest website and find a recipe. Also, something I have to say everytime because I have friends who tell me "well I didnt lose any weight". Cutting out pop doesnt matter if you are just replacing it with other sugary drinks. Water is your best friend, sugar is truly the enemy, even drinks/food that claim to be "sugarfree", those have sucralose in it which is almost as bad. I hope this helps...and if worse comes to worse make yourself do some form of cardio a few times a week AT HOME (I know how crazy your job is so a gym isnt likely). I suggest up and down stairs a few times, jump roping, jumping jacks, lunges back and forth about 4 or 5 times, and planks to start off. I hope this helps!

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