Day #326: What I've learned about Marriage

Marriage is hard. It takes work, on a daily basis. Some days are easy, some days are hard. It is a continuous learning experience for me and I am sure for others. Bob and I have been married for over two years and while we are very happy, there are days when one or both of us would like to punch the other in the face. Maybe not quite that violent, but you know what I mean.
So, in our two short years, this is what I've learned about marriage:

1. Support each other. Bob and I have been through quite a bit in our short relationship. We both jumped in with baggage. He had kids, child support, baby mommies, and debt. I had more debt, emotional and self-esteem issues. In our first year of being together (before we got married) Bob lost his job, went back to school, and re-connected with his son. Talk about a whirlwind first year. Although it was hard, it did lead us on the path to marriage.

What gets us through all this is that we support each other and cheer each other on. It is hard and frustrating, however we continue to be there for each other as opposed to point the "blame" finger when things get hard.

2. Communicate. Talk things out, don't hold it in. I will admit, while we are great at communicating, there are times when one or the other will hold in emotions...which just leads to an explosion later on. We have found it is best to talk things out and work on it when the issue presents itself.

3. Spend time apart. Yes, you need time away from your significant other. We each have our own hobbies and our own friends. It's healthy to spend time apart. If we were around each other ALL the time, we would probably fight way more.

4. Pick your battles. There is always something about your significant other that drives you crazy. I fail to rinse my dishes off, or place glasses next to the sink that still have beverage in them. But we pick our battles and accept that the other person has quirks that may drive the other batty.

5. Laugh. We laugh all the time. We enjoy spending time together, probably because we both can make the other laugh.

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  1. I feel like in most cases you do the most learning in the first few years of marriage. Though I'm sure the years to come have a lot to teach me as well! Picking your battles and choosing not to be annoyed by traits your spouse is never going to change is a big one. My husband leaves a used glass in the fridge as all times, so that he can always grab it and get a quick drink at any time instead of walking across the kitchen and getting a clean one from the cupboard. I know he won't ever do anything different--just because I think it's weird doesn't mean it's wrong, so there's no reason to get fussy about it!

  2. My husband doesn't seem to understand #3. We work together and I really think that that is the worst thing sometimes :-)


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